No more Oweeees

Mommy, no more oweeeees.” I will never forget the day our three year old son said those words. We were in the drive-through, I was getting him lunch for being such a “big boy” while getting his blood drawn. I think I cried most of the way home.

Our son has a genetic condition, but we were soon to learn he had another condition, too. One day in January we had to rush him to the ER. He was hospitalized with ITP (Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura), an auto-immune deficiency. When his body gets sick, instead of killing the virus, the body kills its own platelets, blood does not clot. This condition is scary because how do you get a three-year-old to not jump off of everything and hit himself? If he gets hit or knocked, he can bleed internally without us knowing.

My son had blood work from January to May. In May, he was done. Then, our son changed. The emotional part of all this kicked in. Before, with his other condition, he had to be anaesthetized ten times and have surgery seven times. But this new condition put him over the edge.

This was the first time I sought counseling for our child. I just did not know what to do or say to help our child. He did not trust me. I could not look at him when he hurt himself, he thought I would take him “to the doctor”. It was heart wrenching to watch his anger. He would be fine one minute, then burst out in tears and start screaming the next. We scheduled an appointment with a Child Psychologist at Tacoma Mary Bridge. The psychologist could see at the first visit how on edge our son was to even be there. I will never forget the day one specialist said, “I feel so bad for you, you guys get rid of a doctor and it is like five more pop up.” So true. We were on our twelfth specialist at the time.

We talked to the psychologist. It was the first time no one was touching or poking our son. He got to play with some awesome toys. Then the psychologist pulled out the play medical kit. They explained that our son needed to feel in control by performing treatment on a toy, mommy, or daddy. The psychologist’s recommendation was to buy a medical kit. We did. It took my son a while, but now he likes to pretend on us, sissy, or the dolls.

We are still dealing with the emotional trauma to our son, and we are getting advice from a psychologist and a child life specialist at the hospital. Talking to a psychologist or child life specialist is worth looking into. They get these type of questions or problems all the time. They have answers and maybe some solutions to help ease these problems. At three years old, my son is also still learning what emotions are, and what he is feeling. I am hoping that as he understands emotions, he can explain how he feels, and hopefully not be so angry. It is a work in progress. I encourage others out there going through this; do not be afraid to ask. There are people who specialize and understand children going through this hard time.

Written by Angela Naillon, mother of Cole, four years old and Lilly two years old.